there's a story i belong in. the characters keep changing and the situations are different but we all have the same roles. oh and the most vital point being, i'm always in the middle.
you'd think if its some place i find myself in all the time then i should've gotten used to it by now, but everytime it leaps up and bites me in the face. so its always dramatic.
notice, i didn't say fun, only very dramatic. everyone is in suspense as to which way i'll swing and i'm in pain because i think everyone is wrong or everyone is right.
thier choices however are clear, they either love to hate me or hate to love me. i? oh i just sit right there in the middle either hating me more or loving me only.
now, i'm auctioning the spot. its hot, its shitty and most of all very dramatic. so ask your people to call my people (due to a certain turn of events, i may not have any. but anyway) if you've gotten interested.
going once...
hey, i can't hear youuuuuu.
hey, heyyyyyyy.....

you know when professors say "In the Academy..." it never fails to crack me up. the environs change around me into Oscar night and suddenly he/she is delivering a speech after receiving the lifetime achievement award. its hilarious.
now back to my paper, i just wanted to share my miniscule mundane joys"
actually, its quite hilarious. anyway.

You know all that they say about the great White people, its all true. They have this manner of overwhelming you with thier knowledge, oh and its been just such a wonderful experience. I'd like to acknowledge the greatness of the white mind for introducing me to concepts like the sewage system and innuendos. And then I would like to thank them for being appreciative of how well I have learnt THE language (please remember to thank the colonizers at the next awards night. tele-prompt it for god's sake!) and I am indeed touched by thier efforts to understand that because I come from that little brown country in the poor pathetic East, I'm must (surely now!) be coming from the villages. oh the lovely white benevolent mind. It is such a fresh breath of warm patronizing that it almost makes me want to vent that niggling atavistic urge to wag back my tongure from this poor pathetic brown body.

so there are mean people in this world and they are not letting me die. so, here we are again to start at the beginning of another middle to tell the same story in newer hues and brews and maybe i shouldn't complain too much. this one is specially dedicated to the dedicated harrassment of the hanif and her evil sidekick. hope thier bloggy souls never rest in peace for all the trauma they have given me to beginnagain.
so to beginnagain, i am stressed as usual, all the coffee this afternoon amounted to a headache, i'm writing another paper about how i hate psychoanalysis and as the story goes there is no respite for the academic devil. and on this angsty note i invite one and all to hear the blues i brew and the dischords i strum.

nah. kidding. i missed the lettingoffsteam part, missed it a lot. was playing for time. so, on a more civil note...
hi there howareya, its been a long time.