brewsome

2008-02-04T01:21:00.000-06:00

One shot

We escorted each other to a beautiful Bangalore wedding
And were escorted back on the coattails of an unnecessary break-up
Too many people kicked themselves and him for it.

No one knew how that song lasted so long, why he had lost the right note
What had spirited the moment into oblivion,
Or when we were thrown into that splash of communal embarrassment

I’ve come away feeling all raw, not remembering the wedding
As much as I want to
Only retaining that silly tune of a twosome rent by a million billion if-onlys

2006-12-26T01:18:00.000-06:00

I tried to take the week by its horns
And make the days forget where they had to go
So some of them stayed for a bit, others shrank,
Some smiled and a few took off on unending journeys
Of pretentious play and no work.
Now the week sits about and stares at a wannabe wreck
So that I can look at the days that will gouge out my innards
Shake up the nonchalance till it bores through me
and trudge the pieces of me to the day after,
that glimmers only in tears and empty spaces
small empty spaces left as such by a going-away
a going-away that has lain silent, dug up the insides, stared
at the nonchalance and woken up in a whimpering stomach-knot.

2006-10-20T03:03:00.000-05:00

i hope i remember now on to never mix a holiday with a festival.
bah!!

2006-09-29T22:24:00.000-05:00

The Hanif has landed.

2006-09-29T09:49:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Small Ambit. Many happy happies to you!

2006-09-27T14:26:00.000-05:00

Happy happy happy to you!

from the Hindu:
Law against homosexuality may go

Health, Home Ministry aim to scrap Section 377 of IPC
Criminalising homosexuality will deny MSM access to treatment, healthcare
Amartya Sen calls Sec. 377 a "monstrosity," says it violates basic human rights
Vikram Seth, Arundhati Roy, Shyam Benegal had written letter to Government
New Delhi: The Ministry of Health and Family Welfare is working with the Home Ministry to repeal Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) that outlaws homosexuality.
"We have already held two meetings with the Ministry of Home about repealing the section," Additional Secretary and Director General of the National AIDS Control Organisation Sujatha Rao said on Tuesday at the end of a four-day conference on MSM (men who have sex with men) and HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) in Asia and the Pacific.
The move comes days after some eminent persons, including author Vikram Seth, filmmaker Shyam Benegal and writer Arundhati Roy, wrote an open letter asking the Government to strike down the IPC section.
``A monstrosity''
Nobel laureate Amartya Sen, in a separate letter of support, described the law as a "monstrosity," saying it violated fundamental human rights.
Ms. Rao said there were 2.4 million MSM in India, of whom the Government was able to reach out to only six to eight per cent. Over five million HIV cases are reported in India. According to UNAIDS, at least 5-10 per cent of HIV infections worldwide are estimated to occur through sex between men.
PIL in High Court
A public interest litigation petition was also filed in the Delhi High Court to scrap the section. Though the petition filed by an NGO, Naz Foundation, was dismissed, the apex court on appeal has referred it back to the High Court for reconsideration. Ms. Rao said the task force, which was set up following the order, was holding dialogue on this matter. — PTI

2006-09-22T01:02:00.000-05:00

Thou hast described
A hot friend cooling

(from Julius Caesar. Shakespeare)

funny how some emails do that thing to your stomach, its icky.

2006-09-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Downtown Lingampalli!

went to the latest Chiru release- first day, second show. Full green firecrackers, newspaper confetti and all.
and so we claimed our initiation rights.

neevu banni. 106 Gulmohar Park.

2006-08-19T01:03:00.000-05:00

and still, my scooty is the best.

2006-08-05T00:15:00.000-05:00

they might as well have called it 'Hommekara'.
yummy.

2006-07-04T22:39:00.000-05:00

...its portugese for 'play beautiful'.

2006-06-25T16:11:00.000-05:00

and the Dutch are out?!?!!!!
funny world cup.
bad fifa, they cheated korea.
hope england loses.

2006-06-18T14:58:00.000-05:00

negra modello and the korea-france match.
just wanted to mark today.

Ah, angel Bethesda.

2006-04-01T08:08:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday oh companion of dull days and all that jazz. Have many many funs.

2006-03-23T05:34:00.000-06:00

Foucault's favourite Sting song must be "History Will Teach Us Nothing!"

2006-03-06T04:33:00.000-06:00

yay, crash won.

2006-03-03T06:59:00.000-06:00

the words are not here. there are no words here. and then sometimes they are nowhere. dissertation desert. dessertation dissertation. shun. dis.

2006-01-08T06:52:00.000-06:00

dear reader, i married him.

2005-11-21T04:20:00.000-06:00

If on a cloudy afternoon, a virtual traveller

2005-11-15T10:57:00.000-06:00

i miss the ugly 251.

2005-10-27T07:41:00.000-05:00

the other team

yes, if I liked/watched/knew baseball at all, this would be my moment too...
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/cs-051026soxa1new,0,1335186.story?coll=chi-homepagepromo440-fea

2005-10-25T07:38:00.000-05:00

India 350 for 6 (Tendulkar 93, Dravid 85*, Pathan 84) beat Sri Lanka 198 (Sangakkara 43, Harbhajan 3-34) by 152 runs

sigh.
it couldn't have been prettier.

2005-10-21T21:20:00.000-05:00

in my email today:

Fat Studies – an interdisciplinary, cross-disciplinary field of study thatconfronts and critiques cultural constraints against the fat body, examinesscience that is used to support and/or question and/or counter the health issuesrelated to fat bodies, and creates paradigms for the development of fat acceptance within mass society.

2005-10-08T12:29:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday my little bumbleweena! It's quite a feeling to wish someone on their first birthday. And you're my blog's first.

2005-09-24T23:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Greg,

Thank you.
We love you.
Immensely.

Lovingly,
I, Me, Myself, Irene and her Sister-in-law!!

2005-08-09T13:02:00.000-05:00

mmm, some investments just have to be made. then much thought will go into carrying it in hand baggage and not checking it in because everybody loses bags all the time. and many other subsequent anxieties.
the dissertation will always only be incidental. when it happens that is.

2005-08-05T09:54:00.000-05:00

Burnt Sambar

When someone with a fairly great track record with making sambar, screws up very badly, you know nothing is going right. Things could probably get worse, though I can't imagine what could be worse! This is a nightmare from hell. A miserable birthday and a week that's ending with a morning that feels like shit is not good. I need to talk to my hanif.
I wish this was not happening.
Whatever happened to being happy?!

2005-08-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

people who write lovely emails that make your day should be awarded.
nice it will be then.

2005-07-31T20:07:00.000-05:00

finally, the beginnings of a real captain?

2005-07-29T22:25:00.000-05:00

wowwww!

if this is all a dream, don't wake me.

2005-07-29T13:29:00.000-05:00

I got rhythm,
I got music
I got my man
Who could ask for anything more?
I got daisies
in green pastures
I got my man
Who could ask for anything more?

in other words, I got Simon and Garfunkel- The Columbia Studio Recordings 1964-1970 [BOX SET]
who could ask for anything (very shrill) moooore?

2005-07-28T07:36:00.000-05:00

and again, Tom.

2005-07-25T23:04:00.000-05:00

why do you build me up buttercup baby just to let me down mess me around

angst.
the academic variety.

2005-07-23T18:33:00.000-05:00

Hanif, you never mentioned if you liked Spike so here goes...

In the Land of Bumbley Boo

Spike Milligan

In the land of the Bumbley Boo
The People are red white and blue,
They never blow noses,
Or ever wear closes,
What a sensible thing to do!
In the land of the Bumbley Boo
You can buy Lemon pie at the zoo;
They give away foxes
In little Pink Boxes
And Bottles of Dandylion Stew.
In the land of the Bumbley Boo
You never see a Gnu,
But thousands of cats
Wearing trousers and hats
Chorus
Oh, the Bumbley Boo! the Bumbley Boo!
That's the place for me and you!
So hurry! Let's run!
The train leaves at one!
For the land of the Bumbley Boo!
The wonderful Bumbley Boo-Boo-Boo!
The Wonderful Bumbley BOO!!!

2005-07-22T13:52:00.000-05:00

i don't like it when people peer at my computer screen when i haven't asked them to. i just don't like it. at allllllllllllll.

2005-07-21T13:47:00.000-05:00

rejoice!

the king.

im soooooo happy and proud and emotional and everything!!!

2005-07-20T14:28:00.000-05:00

Minnehooha
The Greyhound really has new buses
the seating now remembers leg room!
Red and yellow shots of jello
and a chinese restaurant
straight out of Tarentino
We talked of everything
and then some more-o.
A happy kitchen,
a great choco-tini
some good wine
one hotttt micro-brewery

...and many hot angels
home-grown and otherwise!

2005-07-16T17:59:00.000-05:00

WISHES FOR THE DAY

Happieeeeeeeee Burday Hanifiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Happy four and twenty to you.

Congratulations on graduating E.Sidekick! and how;)
Pride of u!

2005-07-12T15:44:00.000-05:00

isn't it always soooooooooo exciting when you catch an expression you weren't supposed to see?! raised eyebrows, shared looks about that not-so-liked third other, roll of eyes. its that fleeting moment that you thought you almost missed but no it was definitely there.
i just saw one such. now all my doubts are confirmed. She doesn't really like Her but doesn't ever bring it up because they have to work too closely together!!

yippieeeeeeeee i'm so thrilled I caught that moment.
and a happy tuesday to all of you.

2005-07-11T14:45:00.000-05:00

Dearly Chai,
Many happy burday to you. i know it was yesterday but i'm only posting today.
Happy happy happy to you.

2005-07-05T16:27:00.000-05:00

they are quite pathetic. they're celebrating themselves with fireworks. fireworks to celebrate bombs i suppose.
stayed buried at home watching TV. i'm a very couched potato. slouched couch potato. grouchy sclouched couch potato.

*(Dear Jugular Bean, is it now obvious where i'm stuck?)

2005-07-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

stupid stupid country! you have to watch wimbledon matches in the morning and have to leave to work before the second semi final even begins.
god, this is idiotic!

2005-06-25T23:41:00.000-05:00

a long ago memory crept up to bring this back home:

Peggy-o
As we marched down to Faneri-o As we marched down to Faneri-o Our captain fell n love with a lady like a dove And they called her name, pretty Peggy-o Come a runnin' down the stairs, pretty Peggy-o Come a runnin' down the stairs, pretty Peggy-o Come a runnin' down the stairs, combin' back your yellow hair You're the prettiest little girl I've ever seen-o In a carriage you will ride, pretty Peggy-o In a carriage you will ride, pretty Peggy-o In a carriage you will ride, with your true love by your side As far as any maiden in the ar-e-o What will your mother say, pretry Peggy-o? What will your mother say, pretty Peggy-o? What will your mother say, when she finds you've gone away To places far and strange to Faneri-o? If ever I return, pretty Peggy-o If ever I return, pretty Peggy-o If ever I return, all your cities I will burn Destroying all the ladies in the ar-e-o Destroying all the ladies in the ar-e-o
Simon and Garfunkel

2005-06-22T23:52:00.000-05:00

my boredom is orchestrated by untailored conversations about subjects i rapidly lose interest in and the irascible in me that scatters everything into extended righteous tantrums. the summer here sits, rises and blows through my boredom splashing my face now and then with swift bits of excitement and things-to-do that almost don't last long enough. and boredom clings to that snappish tether that barely is, especially when it comes to people and sights of the daily variety. i am pregnant with waiting to go home, everything is a stretch, every gesture is vacantly stagnant and the moment seems farther pushed, the closer it appears miraged.

so my boredom publishes itself, always uncontrollably in every contuor of this ambience that could never attain the other.

2005-05-06T14:13:00.000-05:00

According to Cranium trivia:In the late 16th century, petitioners begged Pope Clement VIII to ban the drinking of Coffee. He tried a cup and chose to bless it instead!

one of my goodly coffee-others sent this.
what a too much!

2005-04-24T11:53:00.000-05:00

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
third volume is outt!!
many happie joyfuls. mins like will buy nowwwww.

2005-04-21T09:20:00.000-05:00

Word of the Day for Thursday April 21, 2005 enervate \EN-ur-vayt\, transitive verb:

1. To deprive of vigor, force, or strength; to render feeble; to weaken.
2. To reduce the moral or mental vigor of.

no kidding!!

2005-04-13T20:46:00.000-05:00

yippieeeeee!! what a masti.

2005-04-04T08:39:00.000-05:00

april is the cruellest month. a bumblebee left. another allergic spring has sprung. and its the long lonely road to and through exams.

yes hanifi, i hear ya!

2005-04-01T06:28:00.000-06:00

Here's wishing the raj many many happy dull-days!!

2005-03-21T15:02:00.000-06:00

the writing on the...

2005-03-13T19:37:00.000-06:00

Today's answer to everything: ELECTRON BLUE

2005-03-05T20:40:00.000-06:00

sighting transnational!!!

2005-03-01T20:50:00.000-06:00

getting bruised and knocked around?
stay put.
getting bruised and kicked about?
don't move.
getting bruised and bounced a lot?
stay there.
your mind is another physical part of your body.
get used to that first.
this must be what rugby feels like-
that's right, think of your mind
as nothing but your knee
scrape, dent, gash and all!

2005-02-25T19:51:00.000-06:00

proudly presenting some swingin', scattin', hippin'...

this cold spring we have come home to some important people who will ease the way to april-is-the-cruellest-month:
kurt, pat (Point C's own!) and maddy.

sincerest heartiest gratitude to jk and jk for making the mp3 possible.

2005-02-24T13:29:00.000-06:00

we sometimes get free coffee
and sometimes the kind
we are addicted to
and then its luke warm
or fast becoming cold
but you dream that it
could be hot
and everything gets better
even the impending doom
of awaited replies from
busy-bee committee members

2005-02-23T20:23:00.000-06:00

i'm in another one of those dead white poets phase so please bear with me.
WH - please go here to listen to the author read his poem. please hear it before reading it. please note yummy sarcasm in his voice while doing the last few lines. yummy.

2005-02-18T16:19:00.000-06:00

He was keen to learn archery. On the advice of his mother, he desired to have an able teacher or guru. He headed towards Hasthinapura, capital of a mighty kingdom. He wanted to meet guru Drona, an expert in archery, and the teacher of royal princes. Drona expressed his inability to take him as his student, but gave him his blessings.
Ekalavya felt dejected but did not give up. After returning to the forest, he made an statue of guru Drona, prayed to the statue every day and practiced in front of the statue. He was determined to become an ace archer and was convinced that guru Drona, in an statue form, would teach him archery. When in difficulty over a stance, he would bow before the guru’s statue, meditate, and would discover the right approach.

just so you'll know when you're having an ekalavya complex.

2005-02-10T23:55:00.000-06:00

must must musssssssst see.

2005-02-09T21:50:00.000-06:00

seeeeeeeeeee. i gotttt!!

not even a little pudi i will give to anyone.
what a happy.

2005-02-08T11:42:00.000-06:00

Was there a Time
by: Dylan Thomas

Was there a time when dancers with their fiddlesIn children's circuses coul stay their troubles?There was a time they could cry over books,But time has set its maggot on their track.Under the arc of the sky they are unsafe.What's never known is safest in this life.Under the skysigns they who have no armsHave cleanest hands, and, as the heartless ghostAlone's unhurt, so the blind man sees best.

Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night
by: Dylan Thomas

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night.Good men, the last wave by, crying how brightTheir frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,Do not go gentle into that good night.Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sightBlind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,Rage, rage against the dying of the light.And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I prayDo not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

2005-02-07T23:41:00.000-06:00

to appease a bounce of varied snatches that rattle in my head from a merchant's class, giggles on the mount, a magdalen walk and john, ann and un-donne...

THE FLEA.by John Donne

MARK but this flea, and mark in this,How little that which thou deniest me is ;It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee, And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.Thou know'st that this cannot be saidA sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead ; Yet this enjoys before it woo, And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two ; And this, alas ! is more than we would do.O stay, three lives in one flea spare,Where we almost, yea, more than married are.This flea is you and I, and thisOur marriage bed, and marriage temple is.Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,And cloister'd in these living walls of jet. Though use make you apt to kill me, Let not to that self-murder added be, And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.Cruel and sudden, hast thou sincePurpled thy nail in blood of innocence?Wherein could this flea guilty be,Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thouFind'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.

2005-02-06T03:03:00.000-06:00

everybody,
i'm having an important weekend. i have found a bumblebee before which all words seem plastic. still working on how to report it.
she has one frown and many forehead furrows and many faces to wear the frown and furrows. she is being taught many biases at 2-days-short-of-4-months, by many members of community she is born into and enjoys not any attempt at objectivity.
bottom line- i like this bumblebee. it is made after my own heart. none of this is news or surprising but thats it i love this bumblebee!!!

2005-02-02T11:36:00.000-06:00

*grinning sheepishly*
SONT DES MOTS QUI VON
TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE
TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE

2005-02-01T16:00:00.000-06:00

a little drop of water?!

2005-01-30T23:06:00.000-06:00

it feels so good to be reading this. it felt kind of warm in a familiar way to realize i had been missing the NS and his sometimes contrived but dedicated style of writing.
hitherehowareya...

2005-01-29T07:24:00.000-06:00

after angst, comes nonchalance.
almost always and somewhat alreadyly.

and here's to mine. and to bring it in champagne supernova has been blasting in my head. where were you when weeeeeee were gettin high?

hellogoodbye hello good bye

2005-01-25T07:52:00.000-06:00

i like waking up at 4 am to play tricks on the world

that is hardly even around.
i have decided this morning that it is fine to not like roommates if they are insensitive to idiosyncracies of the part of the world i come from. one of my roommates is from that part of the country i come from that has been the topic of current derision (and rightly so!) by certain people i know, the other roommate might as well have been from there. they wasted some upma that i had lovingly nostalgically made the night before last, again. so i made some of the c-day coffee that i have hidden away (from them) in my c-day filter. i have contentedly consumed some and will take the rest to work! they don't deserve to even know that it is hidden from them because they can't tell dal from sambar and it irks me no end. my ----- ----- is (definitely) better than yours.
then i got to the shower before anyone else could even think the thought and i hope i came in the way of the-one-that-might-as-well have belonged there.
in other stories i have spent a major part of this morning reading some DS BS* that has been utterly boring. regardless of what anyone has to say this only re-affirms my faith in my research project and i'm glad for this minor victory even if it stems from the perusal of major BS!

i tell you, this West can gladly have that North- they both deserve it!

* not even worth a footnote.

2005-01-12T19:40:00.000-06:00

ai hanif, you come back soonly to that there space!

2005-01-12T19:14:00.000-06:00

and so to work.

it takes more than just jetlag to move on from a month of luxury where the days walked hand in hand like a litany - cowley and tahmid. long walk, planes in meadows towards the trout. the ultimate picture palace, che, roasted peanuts and home where the beer is. a countryside that walked in at 11 everyday with gorgeous chapels and sprawling lawns. a bardy town, a fancy play and things that heretofore remained in books. fibre and fruit, murderous seasoning, a baguette here a baguette there and many gins all in a row. videosyncratic, TV euphoric, phoenix emphatic. reflected time that ticked in a shadow, a town caught in custom aching for traditional rebellion, and a year that drifted as if in a change of reels. wellcome, ashmole, debbie-daft and a young street. we drank our guinesses and reached for more. of birds in ponds and a bumble bee.

2005-01-01T07:00:00.000-06:00

for the tragedies, comedies, histories and other sonnets of 2004, hope the new year is better and brighter for everyone.
take care!

2004-12-01T20:25:00.000-06:00

see! what did i tell you?!

2004-11-30T16:58:00.000-06:00

its one of those days when just about one page of the paper got written.
uneasy lies the head that bears the frown.

-Shomberi Katte

ps: but its single spaced, at least!

2004-11-25T20:55:00.000-06:00

happygivingthanksbirthday.
yes. very cool. yes, yes. very, very cool parents hanif and i have. they share their birthday- i mean, come on.........how much cooler can you get?!

i thanks-give my/ our coooool parents.

2004-11-20T13:53:00.000-06:00

new love
well, actually, as is my wont, its only revived love.
i give to you the other shakespeare. yes its been cool to say i moved disciplines but didn't have to change the names.
so here's "our" bard, and in keeping with occupational hazards, is a figure lathered in controversy!
as i embarked on another paper i thought it would only be appropriate to salute the concerned muse.

keep 'em saucy fellas comin...

2004-11-11T08:29:00.000-06:00

here, here! it's all happening hereeeeeeee!!

2004-11-10T13:44:00.000-06:00

wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled?

i grow old, i grow old
too old to have roommates
too old to wake up
in a snit every morning
and survive it
too old
to realize i've become
a responsible piece of shit
too old to put up with
irresponsible roommates!!
dammittttttttttt.
toofokinolddddd!!

2004-11-06T21:00:00.000-06:00

yesterday.

2004-11-05T13:22:00.000-06:00

today we are announcing the end of first leg of painful funding application procedure. today we are too mind-dead to feel happy or relieved. today, we spent too much on postage and are feeling disgusted. it is also the end hopefully of nasssssssty mood swings and bite-ur-head off days. it may be the beginning of getting back into the real world to mail people we have lost touch with, enjoy the drink without wanting it to stimulate proposal thoughts, sleep to wake up to many musics, work without mind always wandering to dreaded 10-page shitty proposal, drink coffee not because we have to stay up in the middle of the afternoon and meet G1 and G2 for fun and not in fear.
today we will go home and not think, clean room and look at stationery.

abhaaaaaaaa its over.
oh and i take back everything i said about certain 11 men and wish and hope that creep who was out of circulation for last two test matches stays out!!!

2004-11-04T21:14:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday, dear Merchant.
I miss almost everything.

2004-11-03T22:11:00.000-06:00

...wouldn't be a lovely headline...*

between the shitty election results and one helluva test match there's been so much to be happy about, i'm almost choking with emotion.
I thought the chicago sun times put it well...Deja Vote.

(*Rufus)

2004-10-21T21:19:00.000-05:00

crazy shade of winter

well it is here, if you must know. yes we're going through the motions of dry-cleaning coats, pulling out the woollen hats and getting used to the blasted heat inside the buildings. oh what excitement.

in stories that haven't been told so far:
the vanasson had her marxist beau over from sweden. he wore a corduroy coat, spoke a british syntax trimmed with swedish accent, ate middle-eastern food, called giddens names, made bland salmon dinner, romanced loudly, laughed like that cackly-shrieky ex-girlfriend of chandler's, didn't have eyes like mats wilander, or smile, and was sad that the subaltern studies guys had moved on from marxism.
so.
i survived without losing my temper. vanasson of course might have lost her heart.
oh and M.Yuri and i found his t-shirt in the kitchen while rummaging for food one friday afternoon. she giggled and behaved. i giggled and told the story. many times over.

speaking of the SS club, DC-Babu (the preferred title, i hear) assigned the other of the obnoxious Cambridge scholars for reading. i didn't recover from the readings in time for the class so what i presented was limp and vapid to say the least and it showed. mostly on everyone's faces.
it took a looooooooong bus-ride of cajoling myself into believing that i don't do their business and so should reclaim and maintain my rightful place as persona nongrata. if i drive myself to hard about this course i will soon be...excuse the pun...history.

my hanif is not well. the world looks faded, when not told through her lenses.....ouch that was unintended...and i can't wait for her to be back in the boomsian groove again.

2004-10-15T13:22:00.000-05:00

THE THOUGHT-FOX
I imagine this midnight moment’s forest: Something else is alive Beside the clock’s loneliness And this blank page where my fingers move.
Through the window I see no star: Something more near
Though deeper within darkness Is entering the loneliness: Cold, delicately as the dark snow, A fox’s nose touches twig, leaf; Two eyes serve a movement, that nowAnd again now, and now, and now Sets neat prints into the snow Between trees, and warily a lame Shadow lags by stump and in hollow Of a body that is bold to come
Across clearings, an eye,
A widening deepening greenness, Brilliantly, concentratedly, Coming about its own business
Till, with a sudden sharp hot stink of fox
It enters the dark hole of the head.
The window is starless still; the clock ticks,
The page is printed.
Ted Hughes

Crow and the Sea
He tried ignoring the sea But it was bigger than death, just as it was bigger than life.
He tried talking to the sea But his brain shuttered and his eyes winced from it as from open flame.
He tried sympathy for the sea But it shouldered him off - as a dead thing shoulders you off.
He tried hating the sea But instantly felt like a scrutty dry rabbit-dropping on the windy cliff.
He tried just being in the same world as the sea But his lungs were not deep enough
And his cheery blood banged off it Like a water-drop off a hot stove.
Finally
He turned his back and he marched away from the sea
As a crucified man cannot move.
Ted Hughes

Preludes
I
The winter evening settles downWith smell of steaks in passageways.Six o'clock.The burnt-out ends of smoky days.And now a gusty shower wrapsThe grimy scrapsOf withered leaves about your feetAnd newspapers from vacant lots;The showers beatOn broken blinds and chimney-pots,And at the corner of the streetA lonely cab-horse steams and stamps.And then the lighting of the lamps.
II
The morning comes to consciousnessOf faint stale smells of beerFrom the sawdust-trampled streetWith all its muddy feet that pressTo early coffee-stands.
With the other masqueradesThat time resumes,One thinks of all the handsThat are raising dingy shadesIn a thousand furnished rooms.
III
You tossed a blanket from the bed,You lay upon your back, and waited;You dozed, and watched the night revealingThe thousand sordid imagesOf which your soul was constituted;They flickered against the ceiling.And when all the world came backAnd the light crept up between the shutters,And you heard the sparrows in the gutters,You had such a vision of the streetAs the street hardly understands;Sitting along the bed's edge, whereYou curled the papers from your hair,Or clasped the yellow soles of feetIn the palms of both soiled hands.
IV
His soul stretched tight across the skiesThat fade behind a city block,Or trampled by insistent feetAt four and five and six o'clock;And short square fingers stuffing pipes,And evening newspapers, and eyesAssured of certain certainties,The conscience of a blackened streetImpatient to assume the world.
I am moved by fancies that are curledAround these images, and cling:The notion of some infinitely gentleInfinitely suffering thing.
Wipe your hand across your mouth, and laugh;The worlds revolve like ancient womenGathering fuel in vacant lots. T.S.Eliot

yes wipe your hand across your mouth, and laugh

wipe your hand across your mouth, and laugh

and don't read dead white poets in the middle of the afternoon of a day that's already been sucky.

2004-10-12T19:53:00.000-05:00

so there!

here's taking coal to Newcastle...with a twist ;) !!

2004-10-09T03:00:00.000-05:00

forget the debate...

My joey did it!! At 10.58pm LA time on the 8th she birthed a cwyyyyyyyyying scweeeechy little bumble.
The Yking was a huge grin on the phone and the joey as usual, non-chalant, smug- two hours after delivering for god's sake! Tell me it was the drugs!

So here she is, wundehful baybie livin' on leeerv...

2004-10-06T19:29:00.000-05:00

hmmm.

ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

2004-10-06T19:13:00.000-05:00

I want to go to my house. Now. I am missing everything much this evening. There is nobody to talk to. I want to go to my house now. I'm very weary of this make-shift version just now.

What to do?

2004-10-05T22:15:00.000-05:00

i must be a very bad person. i can think of at least 3 mails i sent off today the subjects of which were "sorry". one or two of them had exclamation marks to boot.
yuck i'm digusting.

2004-09-28T20:03:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday dear Evil Sidekick! Happy happy to you!! And then much much more happy!!

2004-09-27T21:14:00.000-05:00

It's not for nothing that they treat it like the Mecca University. Getting to do a course there even with no strings attached is like begging entry into holy land. Anyway after all the heartache of this morning I have finally made it able for myself to take a course with no less than DC Da at Mecca University!! I'm thrilled to bits and so what if I won't get official credits for doing this its going to be worth the wait. Oh and DC Da doesn't seem snobby at all, just seems like the mad professori he should be with books strewn allllllllllllllll over his room in random cacophony to the extent that it can distract you from even the most banal conversation.
Yippieeeeeeeee. Suddenly feel like my trip to Point-C has been realized academically, finally.
I was a huge grin all the way back on Route #6 and then some more on the Blue line home.

Oh and he's one of those people who calls Serious Serious, the Horror's Center, just like the other mad boys I know.

So just take what you want and pardon the glee!!

2004-09-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

Oho!

2004-09-25T08:47:00.000-05:00

in the moment of angst, poverty and such, here's to Billy who has been my strength and 'cosmic rationale' this morning. Thank you Billy for

PRESSURE
You have to learn to pace yourselfPressureYou're just like everybody elsePressureYou've only had to run so farSo goodBut you will come to a placeWhere the only thing you feelAre loaded guns in your faceAnd you'll have to deal withPressure You used to call me paranoidPressureBut even you cannot avoidPressureYou turned the tap dance into your crusadeNow here you are with your faithAnd your Peter Pan adviceYou have no scars on your faceAnd you cannot handle Pressure All grown up and no place to goPsych 1, Psych 2What do you know?All your life is channel 13Sesame StreetWhat does it mean? (I'll tell you what it means)PressurePressure Don't ask for helpYou're all alonePressureYou'll have to answerTo your ownPressureI'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationaleBut here you are in the ninthTwo men out and three men onNowhere to look but insideWhere we all respond to PressurePressure All your life is Time MagazineI read it tooWhat does it mean? Pressure I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationaleBut here you are with your faithAnd your Peter Pan adviceYou have no scars on your faceAnd you cannot handlePressurePressurePressureOne, two, three, fourPressure

2004-09-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

i like these colours better i think.

2004-09-22T20:40:00.000-05:00

puke a doodle doo
i bumped into something that made me want to change this outfit to what it used to be.
bleah.

2004-09-21T21:51:00.000-05:00

Aside from hanging out with her and Dylan (with whom I have long monologues in tamil) I found new reasons for why I like going to Kellebelle's apartment today! She has the Jackson Browne 'I'm Alive' album.
Yayyyy and then some more.

2004-09-14T16:40:00.000-05:00

funny i never saw this all these days

2004-09-13T21:39:00.000-05:00

I carried two bags today like the Mad Hatter does often and what the Kaysee said seemed to make sense suddenly- it really helps with balance while walking.
Wallace-of-the-building is retiring this month and he had gave us a party today, meat balls and chocolate cake and African costume and all. I can't imagine how it will be when he's not there with no one to write "Tuesday-The best day of the week" on that board near the entrance. Tuesday in the Spring Sem was hell and I remember B.Almighty and Eldrum rolling their eyes everytime they read that.
M. Yuri wants to know why I don't listen to Eminem. She has promised to educate me in that area. God save this world and hers.
Oh the blasted phone quit working in the living room. Its back where it used to belong and Hrrummph.
I went to Lenny Lane today and as usually felt reassured. To the consternation of all my faculties he completely gets the Big Bad B and I'm happy to be stuck with him!!

2004-09-10T20:50:00.000-05:00

i lovvvvve it!

2004-09-07T16:56:00.000-05:00

All sorted out.
Actually all done and dusted, as someone would say.
I stole into my house this afternoon to investigate. I needed to know if there was a solution to my phone problem- the house phone is connected in my room and of late i have had reason to not like the situation. At all. So i looked for extension cords and other techno-gizmo things. Found a few and got to work. It didn't seem to be happening.
And then a spark in my head went off. I decided to test what was a given, or always made to appear like that. From the moment I moved into this apartment I was told that the only phone jack that worked was the one in my room.
LIES!
All lies. My investigation showed that the one in the living room, the first one I examined worked just like it should!

So now I'm feeling all jubilant and suitably avenged. Now no one needs to barge into my room or needs to avoid it like the plague.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh such a relief. You have to be here, and feel it to really know it.
But thank you, livingroomjack. I love you.

2004-09-05T11:09:00.000-05:00

i hate that fucking phone and all the blasted misery it brings me.
anyone who has caught me in the middle of this, my profuse apologies.

but i hate that fucking phone!